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Category Archives: Perception

Let’s Start an “I Love You” Culture!

I grew up in a household where the “I love you’s” were very common. I didn’t realize how important that was until I was all grown up. As a matter of fact, I don’t guess I really came to the stark realization of just how important that was until I began to encounter person after person who didn’t have the same luxury as me. It has been a bit of an eye-opener of how many people my age never heard their dad say, “I love you.”. From experience, I’d say that moms are traditionally a lot better to say it than dads. But, saying it is important……and more important than you might imagine.

In my part of the world, I’ve been in the Texas Panhandle or Western Oklahoma all my life, it seems to have been part of the culture. Not sure if the same would go for other parts of the USA or the rest of the world for that matter but it wouldn’t surprise me. Fact is there are myriads of people out there who didn’t hear “I love you” in their home, from their parents or their people and as a result, they don’t say it either. It makes an incredible difference to hear it. I can’t number the times I’ve sat in my office with people of all ages with one after the other recanting their heartbreak over wondering if they were loved at all. Of course, in most if not nearly all cases they were loved, ……just not told.

I’m free with the term and I’ve found out that if you tell other people you love ’em in a little bit they’ll return the favor. For many who are not free with it, it may feel very awkward and unnatural at first but as time goes by it’ll start to feel like second-nature. My best example is one of my close friends; he grew up in one of those homes where he was loved but it wasn’t said. He caught the significance of what I’m talking about and started the process with his grown sons. It caught on! Now I’ll walk through our offices and hear him on the phone with one of his boys and they’ll finish the call with, “Love Ya”. It blesses me to hear that! It’s doable and you can do it too!

Now, here’s something serious to think about. If we didn’t hear it from our parents and if we believe we weren’t loved, when we start to connect with God, who is a Father, it’s extremely hard for us to believe that He can love us either. It profoundly affects the most important relationship you’ll ever have! The more you trust the Father, …..the more fulfilling your life will be! ………we need to fix this!

Tell me about your own experience. Is it easy for you or not? What difference have you seen with your people upon being told, “I love you”? Let me hear your stories.

So, here’s my proposition. I’m startin’ an “I love you” culture! It might even turn into a revolution. Wouldn’t that be something?!

Who’s with me?

 

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Love People, Trust God!

Life is an endless sequence of learning experiences. As long as we’re learning we’re growing. I don’t think that ever has to stop, even as we get older. It does stop, however, for a lot of folks who, for one reason or another, just put it to rest and decide they don’t need to learn anymore. I guess that’s someting we’ll all have to face sooner or later.

I didn’t even start to learn about spiritual things until I was about 30 years old. Didn’t grow up going to church. I had heard a few of the Bible stories like David and Goliath. I believed in Jesus but I knew very little about Him. But, when my life made the turn, I pretty much hit the fast track. I had done so much in my life that didn’t work, and all of a sudden I got ahold of the one thing that does work and I pretty much gave my life to ‘it’!

I think it was the sovereignty of God that caused me to end up in the little Baptist Church in Allison, Texas. Looking back, there was a very profound move of God happening there. There were no less than 8 couples/families that are now serving the Lord in full-time ministry. Our pastor, Ronnie Chadwick, was a great mentor for all of us. His guidance and influence helped set the direction for our lives, and even continues to do so today.

After we’d been there a few years we took a trip down to Dallas to a James Robison conference. We were part of a good sized group that went that year. It was a life-changer for most of us. I was green as a gourd, didn’t know much but my heart was in a good place. After one of the morning sessions as we were exiting the Dallas Convention Center a homeless guy had walked in off the street. He was dirty, smelled of alcohol and was probably there to He had everything he owned in a little plastic Wal-Mart bag. What I saw broke my heart; The biggest part of the 8-10,000 people that were at the conference, supposedly to learn how to be a better Christian, made a big, wide swath around the homeless guy. I don’t want to judge but it appeared that they didn’t want to be bothered by him, and definitely didn’t want to come in contact with him.

I just couldn’t pass by without trying to help the man. I found out he’d been in some bad situations in Vietnam and had been on the streets for years. I really felt for this guy. I spent twenty minutes or so telling him about the goodness of Jesus. I felt like it was my responsibility to ‘lead’ him to the Lord. (that was back when I didn’t know better!) But after those 15 minutes he didn’t want anything to do with that but just whatever handout he could get. I gave him some cash and he was gone.

I met back up with our group and I was totally devastated. I was sobbing for the condition of the man I’d just met. I felt like I had let the Lord down (which wasn’t true, but I didn’t know!) because he had rejected anything to do with Jesus. My pastor, Ronnie Chadwick, gathered me up and gave me some of the best advice I’ve ever received. “Andy, you just have do what you can and trust the Lord to do what, only He, can do.” 

It was a profound experience for me and a lesson learned that has enabled me to help hundreds of others since then. The Bible says, “Some plant, some water….but it’s the Lord that gives the increase.” As I have matured through the years I often think of that incident. In this journey of learning to serve the Lord we must come to the understanding that, “Yes”, we have a certain amount of responsibility…..but if anything significant is going to happen…..it’s gotta be God!

It was right there that I learned what my responsibility actually is,

“Love people, trust God”. 

 

VIP #3 – Ronnie Chadwick

“God, If You’re Out There, You Gotta Help Me!”

A Long Ways From the Lord

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People Just Love to Talk

I was listening to a Delbert McClinton song the other day titled,  People Just Love to Talk. (click on highlighted links to watch/read) Anybody that knows me well, knows that I really like Delbert McClinton. He’s a Ft. Worth guy whose music doesn’t really fit perfectly with any genre. It’s not country, although it does kinda have a certain country flair. It’s not rock, but again, there’s some similarity. But most of his songs have a nice bluesy edge to them. You oughta check him out. You might find you really like him.

But the song got me to thinkin’; It’s really true you know, people do just love to talk. And a lot of the time that talk is not very wholesome or edifying. I gotta say right here that I’ve been guilty of it myself on numerous occasions….and I’m trying to do better. Gossip…., or talebearing as the Bible calls it, is so easy to get dragged into. I mean, you don’t even have to try and before you know it you find yourself ‘piling on’ (with your words) someone that definitely doesn’t need it.

The Lord gave me what I’d call a pretty profound revelation some years back. There’s a powerful Biblical principle that says, “If two of you agree on anything and ask it in My (Jesus talking) Name, I’ll do it”. Another one, “If one can put a thousand to flight, two can put ten thousand to flight”. Now, that’s pretty amazing math if you stop and think about it! There’s more…but you get the idea. Well, what the Lord showed me was that we are doing the exact same thing….but in a negative way when we agree with someone’s railing on another person, or when we add our own words to the criticism thrown out there! That’s pretty serious, I think! And, it’s just more evidence of how important our words really are.

The Bible talks about how powerful our words are….in a negative sense, “see how great a forest a little fire kindles”. It’s true….people just love to talk……but you and I don’t have to throw fuel on the fire!

…might want to check these out, too!

Don’t Tie the Ends Up!

You Got to Me Too Late!

Talk About a ‘Fixer-Upper’!2016WordpressSignatureSM

 

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“You Are Here”

I know you’re familiar with those “You Are Here” signs. In the mall is the most obvious place I see them. I find myself looking at them pretty often when I’m there. I go to the mall occasionally but not often enough to actually know where everything is. I know where a few of the stores I’m interested in are located but there are dozens that I have absolutely no idea where they are. But, really, I don’t have a problem knowing where I am so, for me, the “You Are Here” sign is kind of a moot point. But, if I could find a sign that could tell me where Julie is in the mall…..now that’s something I think I could find extremely useful! But, and I’m talking from years of experience here, I guarantee that if I headed straight to the point where the sign says she is…..she’d be gone by the time I’d get there. Yep, done that too many times to count!

But, seriously, in the course of our lives one of those “You Are Here” signs would come in pretty handy. It’d be helpful for us to realize where we are….especially in relation to where we’re going. I think there are several surefire ways to help us identify exactly where we are. Some of them are pretty revealing and some will undoubtedly expose some of our immaturity, our weaknesses and inconsistencies. But if we’re serious about arriving at a certain destination they can provide some serious personal growth opportunities.

Life is full of ‘tests’; all kinds of them. And if you’re serious about your walk with the Lord there’s going to be a lot of them. It’s important to know that when the Lord tests you it’s not so He can find out where you’re at…..He already knows that. No, the tests are so you can find out for yourself where you are. That’s good information!

At that point we can adjust, refocus (and repent in some cases) and seek His wisdom about our situation and then get lined up again with His plan for our lives. I’m convinced that He likes nothing more than to help us get on track. 

So, look at your life right now. If you’re in the middle of some test, observe how you’re responding to it. More than likely it’s one of those “You Are Here” opportunities!

Some others you might like:

Are You ‘Led’, or Are You ‘Driven’?

Don’t Tie the Ends Up!

Objects in the Mirror are Closer Than They Appear!

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Accepted or Valued? There’s a Vast Difference!

One of the hard things in life occurs when we don’t feel accepted. And, I imagine just about everyone of us has experienced it more than a few times. It just doesn’t feel good to be on the outside…especially when the ‘in’ group is our family or friends and people we care about. Because of our insecurities (and most of us have ’em) it’s possible to have that feeling pretty often. But, many times that feeling is just something that’s perceived on our part and not really legitimate,….or even intended on the other party’s part. But we can still experience the blunt pain of it anyway. Being accepted on the other hand has a very positive feel to it. 

There’s plenty of talk around the church these days about acceptance. I hear some people, from time to time, kind of ‘braggingly’, alluding to the fact that they accept everyone, as it’s supposed to be some real badge of nobility. It’s not rare to hear someone say, “Yep, we accept bikers, poor folks, alcoholics, drug addicts, ex-cons, those that are all ‘tatted’ up, gays, lesbians….”, and the list could go on and on. I wanna say, (but I don’t!) “Well, ain’t that what we’re supposed to do anyway?!” I don’t have much tolerance for bragging about something that oughta be commonplace, and a ‘no-brainer’,  for the church!

But, just deciding to accept someone….I don’t think is enough! I mean, from the position of not being accepted to being accepted, that’s a big thing, no question. It’s huge!! But, just accepting someone has the feel that we’re just kinda ‘tolerating’ them ’til they change to be like us. (which in most cases they really don’t care to do….and, seriously,…..who could blame ’em!) 

But, something really supernatural happens when we go beyond just ‘accepting’ them to actually ‘valuing’ them!! Valuing someone is going to the next level. It amounts to seeing someone through the eyes of the Lord. When we can do that and then show it through our attitude….and actions with them….amazing things are apt to happen!

I’m glad the Lord didn’t just accept me! I’m really glad that He’s not just ‘tolerating’ me! I can tell by my interaction with Him, and how good He’s been to me, that He’s gone way beyond that…and that He’s put a huge amount of value on me. (….incredibly undeserving on my part, I might add!) 

Oh, and those people that you ‘accept’…..they can feel whether you actually value them or not. And, if you don’t….enjoy their presence now ’cause more than likely they won’t be there long!

Check these out: (click on the highlighted link to read)

FOMO

“Obviously, I’m God’s Favorite!”

The Thing About Unconditional Love

“It’s Not Your Job to Fix Them!”

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You Can Only Do What You Can Only Do!

I was having a conversation with a good friend a few weeks back. He was lamenting, so to speak, about some decisions he’d made 10 years or so ago that really affected some people in a negative way; people who he cared about and were important to him. He’s very sincere about doing the right thing; he’s determined to do things that are right and just. He used the best judgment he had to  make his deliberations and his decision. But the decision left the other party feeling hurt and betrayed and my friend has been carrying the weight of this for several years now.

I’d be surprised if  most of  us didn’t have some situations in our past that ended up like that. Situations, that if we were to have the chance for a do-over, we’d definitely take a different course of action. But, here’s the thing;  It’s a fact of life; You can only do what you can only do! We’re faced with all kinds of dilemmas in the normal course of our lives. And, if we’re trying to do the right thing we can only do what we know to be the best thing at that particular time. As we grow in the Lord, we grow in grace….(if we’re not growing in grace….we really aren’t growing in the Lord!) and as we grow in grace we have a deeper, more profound….and actually simpler way of handling our relationship dilemmas, and decisions. We become much more understanding with people, ….as well as, much more patient and forgiving. It’s a natural progression for anyone who’s really trying to follow the leadership of the Lord.

Another thing I’ve noticed is that when the heart is correct the Lord, somehow, has a way of causing good to come from it.….even though we might feel like we mishandled a situation at the time. It seems that He nearly always honors a ‘clean’ heart. Oh, and on the good side, if you can look back and see some of those things that you know you’d handle different today….it’s just good, solid evidence that you’re growing, progressing and maturing!

So, don’t fight your head or beat yourself up too much about those things…..You can only do, what you can only do!

If you have any such incidents that you’d definitely do different today, tell me about  it.

Check these out, too:

If God Has Your Heart, He Can Get Your Feet Where They Belong!

Redirecting!

“I Keep A Close Watch On This Heart Of Mine”

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The ‘Magic’ Words

Not sure when I first heard it; I’d guess about the time I started to school, maybe before. But, someone taught me, what they called, the ‘magic’ words. “Please”…..and “Thank You”! I think they really are magic because when you use them and use them with sincerity, some amazing, even magical results can happen.

I was having a visit with a friend a few days ago who had been trying with all his might to help someone very close to him. Beyond helping his friend by giving him some life-giving, Godly advice, he’d helped him financially with bills and expenses….not to mention a lot of time he had willingly invested. But he had made the observation that his friend had never, even one time, said “Thank You”. The absence of a ‘thank you’ left my friend feeling used and unappreciated. That’s not really how you want to feel when you set out to help someone. And now the lack of a ‘thank you’ now and then has left their relationship on slippery ground. It’s tragic but it happens all the time. A little ‘thank you’ goes a long ways!

“Please”, that other ‘magical’ word seems to be equally as important to me. It’s amazing the doors that are apt to open when we just add that little word to our requests. Both those ‘magic’ words have the potential to totally change the outcome (in a positive way!) of just about any conversation they’re used in. When those magic words land in the ears they almost always do something simultaneously in the heart of the person who hears them.

I’m still not sure who it was that told me that those were ‘magic words’, but today…50 some years later, I’m grateful to whoever it was. I can honestly say that they’ve made a difference for me. I don’t think it’s ever too late to learn the ‘magic’ words.

We oughta start using them more…..and teaching others to do the same…..and then watch the magic happen!

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