RSS

Category Archives: Broken Relationships

Let’s Start an “I Love You” Culture!

I grew up in a household where the “I love you’s” were very common. I didn’t realize how important that was until I was all grown up. As a matter of fact, I don’t guess I really came to the stark realization of just how important that was until I began to encounter person after person who didn’t have the same luxury as me. It has been a bit of an eye-opener of how many people my age never heard their dad say, “I love you.”. From experience, I’d say that moms are traditionally a lot better to say it than dads. But, saying it is important……and more important than you might imagine.

In my part of the world, I’ve been in the Texas Panhandle or Western Oklahoma all my life, it seems to have been part of the culture. Not sure if the same would go for other parts of the USA or the rest of the world for that matter but it wouldn’t surprise me. Fact is there are myriads of people out there who didn’t hear “I love you” in their home, from their parents or their people and as a result, they don’t say it either. It makes an incredible difference to hear it. I can’t number the times I’ve sat in my office with people of all ages with one after the other recanting their heartbreak over wondering if they were loved at all. Of course, in most if not nearly all cases they were loved, ……just not told.

I’m free with the term and I’ve found out that if you tell other people you love ’em in a little bit they’ll return the favor. For many who are not free with it, it may feel very awkward and unnatural at first but as time goes by it’ll start to feel like second-nature. My best example is one of my close friends; he grew up in one of those homes where he was loved but it wasn’t said. He caught the significance of what I’m talking about and started the process with his grown sons. It caught on! Now I’ll walk through our offices and hear him on the phone with one of his boys and they’ll finish the call with, “Love Ya”. It blesses me to hear that! It’s doable and you can do it too!

Now, here’s something serious to think about. If we didn’t hear it from our parents and if we believe we weren’t loved, when we start to connect with God, who is a Father, it’s extremely hard for us to believe that He can love us either. It profoundly affects the most important relationship you’ll ever have! The more you trust the Father, …..the more fulfilling your life will be! ………we need to fix this!

Tell me about your own experience. Is it easy for you or not? What difference have you seen with your people upon being told, “I love you”? Let me hear your stories.

So, here’s my proposition. I’m startin’ an “I love you” culture! It might even turn into a revolution. Wouldn’t that be something?!

Who’s with me?

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

There’s a Better Way to Do It Than Cold Calls & Contracts

You know what I’m talkin’ about but let me clarify;

Cold Call – Unsolicited calls on (someone), by telephone or in person, in an attempt to sell goods or services.

Contract – Contract killing is a form of murder in which one party hires another party (often called a hitman) to kill a target individual or group of people.

Now, for starters, ….I ain’t specifically talking about either of those topics in the strictest sense. But those are the things that come to mind when I get asked by someone to go and talk to their friend or family member about the Lord. That’s what I call, putting out a contract on ’em. Their friend may be going through a rough patch in their life or they may be having problems that really do need the input of someone representing the Lord. The folks asking are nearly always well-meaning and clean hearted about it but I start to put on the brakes when I feel the conversation moving that way. It really makes me uncomfortable, especially if I don’t know the person having troubles, and I think it’s the Holy Spirit that makes me feel that way.

In all fairness, because I do what I do, people somewhat inaccurately believe that I should do this any time I’m requested to. I did it a few times back in the day before I learned better….and I’d have to say that my win/loss record was way less than impressive if you know what I mean! If you stop and think about it, it’s disrespectful to that person to ask someone to talk to them if they don’t know about it! Put your own self in their shoes. Nobody likes being ‘blindsided’! People just don’t like that! On the other hand, there are those out there who have been put under condemnation by their church or church friends telling them they need to get out there and tell everyone they know about Jesus, a method that I’m wholeheartedly against. Those guys will still probably do it for ya.

Here’s what changes everything. If your friend has given you permission to ask someone to visit with them then it’s OK. In fact, I’ll be one of the first ones to show up and help. Or, and this is a big one, if you ask me and I believe the Holy Spirit has directed me to do it (He does those kinds of things!) then, by all means, I’m going to! The Father will take care of the rest! But the best case scenario is that YOU talk to your friend about the Lord. You can tell real quick if he’s open to it or not. If not, don’t get pushy! Sometimes it’s just a matter of timing. If he knows you can be trusted he’ll likely ask you about it later.

If you’ve put a contract out on someone before don’t get all twisted up about it. You cared about your friend and that’s a good thing but learn from the situation, keep caring about people and move on.

But, if you plan on putting a contract out on someone and don’t have your friend’s permission and he’s not expecting it, ……..I’m probably not your guy!

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The Lessons I Learned from Jeff

The last year we lived on the ranch in the Texas Panhandle I had the responsibility of taking care of 2500 head of cattle. About 1800 of those were close to 40 miles away north of Canadian, Texas on the expansive Urschel Ranch. I’d go up about three times a week and spend the day horseback checking the cattle; getting a decent count on them, making sure they had water, making sure none of them were out of the pastures they were supposed to be in. It’d make for a long day but it was enjoyable to me.

I was about three years into my walk with the Lord. Didn’t know much but I was learning a lot. I had given my testimony a couple of times and was already feeling the call for ministry…even though I had no idea what all that might mean. A friend and I had a cowboy church service (years before anyone ever heard that term!) at the Hemphill County Expo Center in Canadian and I preached the message. That was a first! I have no idea what I preached about but I do remember that one of my friends since childhood (a few years older than me) got saved that day. Let’s just call him, Jeff.

Jeff was a cowboy and had been in some of the very worst combat fights in Vietnam. In three different battles there were over a hundred US troops under fire….and all three times less than fifteen came out alive. Jeff was one of the ones each time. But, it had left an indelible mark on him. He struggled with deep depression, was separated from his wife, had trouble sleeping and agonized over the things he was ordered to do in Vietnam. Jeff was a scary looking guy, well actually if you weren’t friends with him….he just didn’t look scary….he really was scary. He’d done plenty of crazy things and the locals weren’t sure what he might do next! He hair was cut short on the top but long in the back…..way down past his collar. He had about 6 top front teeth totally gone! He wore denim shirts with the sleeves cut out of them and he had lots of tattoos; something not that common in those days. He spent a lot of his spare time at the gym pumping iron and was quite a specimen of a man.

Part of my regular routine the times when I’d go up to check cattle was to make it back to the Dairy Queen on my way home and catch Jeff after he got off work. I made it a point. I was doing my best to encourage him and give him good, sound advice. I’d pray with him every time before I headed home. One particular time we were in the DQ when a Greyhound bus made its stop there. The place was completely full of people. Jeff got there before I did and saved me a spot. His intimidating look had the attention of just about every person in there. Bear in mind that when he talked, Jeff talked really really loud; maybe louder than anyone you’ve ever known! I asked him that day, as I always did, “Jeff, how are you doing?” He replied in his loud voice, “Andy, I’m doing really good!”. I knew that I needed to press in a little more. “But, Jeff, …..how are you really doing?” And in a voice a lot louder than you need to be talking in Dairy Queen he said, “Yep, Andy, …….I’m doing so good I got rid of all my plastic explosives yesterday!!” You could’ve heard a pin drop! Every eye in the house was on us! It was funny, ….in a crazy kind of way; all those people started gathering up their food without saying a word and getting out the door as fast, but as inconspicuous as they could. It was like they didn’t totally believe him. I bet some of them are still telling that story today!

I learned a lot in my experiences with Jeff. I made it a mission of mine to help him. I wanted him to be OK; I wanted him to be well. Julie and I had planned a little vacation and were planning on being gone for about a week. I got real worried that if I wasn’t there to check on Jeff that he wouldn’t be alright. I even told Julie as much. I was actually afraid to go on vacation fearing he would implode. But, the Lord spoke clearly to my spirit at that point and said, “It’s Ok, Andy, …..you’re not the one that’s taking care of him anyway.” That put it in perspective for me. God always knows the right thing to say, and always at just the right time.

I wish this story had a happy ending….but it doesn’t. Several years later Jeff was living downstate in Texas and took his own life. I can’t help but believe that the Lord has lots and lots of grace for people like Jeff. 

I’ll never forget the things I learned…and I look forward to seeing him in Heaven.

Try these:

“It’s Not Your Job to Fix Them!”

Identity Theft

The Thing About Unconditional Love

Double Check Your “Invitation List”!!

2016WordpressSignatureSM2

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Fail Forward

It doesn’t matter what you’re doing in life, missing the mark is always a possibility. In fact it’s inevitable that we’re going to fail at something. Whether it’s not making the 5th grade basketball team or coming up short for class president. Most of us experienced the heartbreak of not doing quite good enough early on in life. You know, if it’d just stop there it wouldn’t be too bad. We could surely overcome that class president thing and move on wih life. But, challengingly enough, it doesn’t stop there.

Every single thing we do in life the possibility of failure is staring us square in the face. It can be distracting and downright intimidating. Get yourself two or three of those heartbreaks in a row, which is not hard, and it makes for a really tough patch of life. It would be easy for anyone to get stuck in that same old pattern and let it set the course of their entire life. It’s happened all too many times.

But it doesn’t have to happen that way. Actually, failure has some profound potential if we just don’t allow it get the best of us. Failures provide some amazing learning opportunities and they can give us some incredible perspective if we’ll just let it.

Peter was one of those guys that failed. He didn’t just fail a little….he failed BIG! At the time Jesus needed him most he folded like a cheap lawn chair. Three times he denied that he even knew Jesus, once to a little 12 year old girl. You may have had some major blunders in your life but I’m bettin’ you haven’t had one that big. It would have been easy for that failure to define the rest of Peter’s life. But he had an encounter with Jesus after the resurrection and something miraculous happened; something so miraculous, in fact, that for the next 25 years he was the most important man of the planet as it related to the plan of God! That should be a source of great encouragement to people like us.

Failure is a strong word; and, just because you failed at something doesn’t mean you’re a failure! We shouldn’t allow our failures to define us. We should use them as a stepping stone to greatness. Learn your lesson, get back up and get going again, use your bad experience to help someone else. 

You’re gonna miss the mark; you’re gonna fall short, you’re gonna fail occasionally. But when you fail, …….fail forward! Failure is not final…..unless you let it be!

Oh, and don’t forget what really made the difference for Peter! That encounter with Jesus is the ‘clincher’!

It’ll work for you, too!

Here’s a couple more you might like:

Critics……..There’s One On Every Corner

“Nothing I Can Do About it Now”

2016WordpressSignatureSM2

 

 

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Maybe He Saved More Than Your Life!

I just returned from a fantastic week of trout fishing in Montana. It’s the second year I’ve been invited there by my great friend, Ty Bean. It has been, these two years, an incredible time to unwind, relax, replenish and meet up with a few old, and some new friends. I had a great time….all except when I fell into the river! Maybe I’ll tell you about it sometime. But, until then suffice it to say that the Big Horn, …in October, is waaaay too chilly to go into…on purpose!

We were picked up at the airport in Billings by a sharp young man named Tyler. There were five of us in the Suburban for the hour and a half trip to the lodge. I was riding ‘shotgun’ with Tyler and he began to ask me about my life. Now I sure don’t mind telling ‘my story’ but I have absolutely no agenda to try to force my way into telling it. But I was glad to answer Tyler’s questions and tell him how the Lord rescued me 32 years ago. When I finished he said, “That’s a great story!” I said, “Well, I take no credit for it, it’s just the story of how God saved my life.”

At almost that precise time I received a text. My screen-saver on my phone now ( I change it periodically with a pic of one or more of our 9 Grandkids!) is a pic of Knox and Timber, our two ‘newest’ grand babies. He (the Lord) immediately took me to that time in 1984 when my marriage was over with no hope of repair, and just about every other problem you could imagine. At that point in my life I only had two sons, Clint and Cade. And, the Lord showed me all that I now have…..that I wouldn’t have had, had He not answered my desperate prayer of, “God, if You’re out there, you gotta help me!”

My mind went immediately to Cole, his wife Kelly and their 3 precious little kids, Calli, Maverick and Knox. Then to Clay, his wife Chelsea and precious little Timber. Then to Cord, our little boy in heaven. *(Something for us to really look forward to!!) Then to Cameron, our little girl who has been the ‘icing on the cake’ after four boys! I was broken beyond words right there in the Suburban. It wasn’t tears of sadness but tears of overwhelming joy and gratefulness toward the Father.  None of these, who are now such a huge a part of our lives, and a huge part of why our lives are so rich today……,  would’ve been here. I can’t imagine life without them!!

God did the impossible….and fixed the un-fixable!! 

And, maybe…..just maybe…..He saved more than your life!!

**Here’s that pic on my phone!! The two newest little Taylors’, Timber & Knox!

img_1177

“God, If You’re Out There, You Gotta Help Me!”

It’s A Different Kind of Love!

If He Can Fix My Life…..I Know He Can Fix Yours!

2016WordpressSignatureSM2

 

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

People Just Love to Talk

I was listening to a Delbert McClinton song the other day titled,  People Just Love to Talk. (click on highlighted links to watch/read) Anybody that knows me well, knows that I really like Delbert McClinton. He’s a Ft. Worth guy whose music doesn’t really fit perfectly with any genre. It’s not country, although it does kinda have a certain country flair. It’s not rock, but again, there’s some similarity. But most of his songs have a nice bluesy edge to them. You oughta check him out. You might find you really like him.

But the song got me to thinkin’; It’s really true you know, people do just love to talk. And a lot of the time that talk is not very wholesome or edifying. I gotta say right here that I’ve been guilty of it myself on numerous occasions….and I’m trying to do better. Gossip…., or talebearing as the Bible calls it, is so easy to get dragged into. I mean, you don’t even have to try and before you know it you find yourself ‘piling on’ (with your words) someone that definitely doesn’t need it.

The Lord gave me what I’d call a pretty profound revelation some years back. There’s a powerful Biblical principle that says, “If two of you agree on anything and ask it in My (Jesus talking) Name, I’ll do it”. Another one, “If one can put a thousand to flight, two can put ten thousand to flight”. Now, that’s pretty amazing math if you stop and think about it! There’s more…but you get the idea. Well, what the Lord showed me was that we are doing the exact same thing….but in a negative way when we agree with someone’s railing on another person, or when we add our own words to the criticism thrown out there! That’s pretty serious, I think! And, it’s just more evidence of how important our words really are.

The Bible talks about how powerful our words are….in a negative sense, “see how great a forest a little fire kindles”. It’s true….people just love to talk……but you and I don’t have to throw fuel on the fire!

…might want to check these out, too!

Don’t Tie the Ends Up!

You Got to Me Too Late!

Talk About a ‘Fixer-Upper’!2016WordpressSignatureSM

 

Tags: , , , , , ,

“You Are Here”

I know you’re familiar with those “You Are Here” signs. In the mall is the most obvious place I see them. I find myself looking at them pretty often when I’m there. I go to the mall occasionally but not often enough to actually know where everything is. I know where a few of the stores I’m interested in are located but there are dozens that I have absolutely no idea where they are. But, really, I don’t have a problem knowing where I am so, for me, the “You Are Here” sign is kind of a moot point. But, if I could find a sign that could tell me where Julie is in the mall…..now that’s something I think I could find extremely useful! But, and I’m talking from years of experience here, I guarantee that if I headed straight to the point where the sign says she is…..she’d be gone by the time I’d get there. Yep, done that too many times to count!

But, seriously, in the course of our lives one of those “You Are Here” signs would come in pretty handy. It’d be helpful for us to realize where we are….especially in relation to where we’re going. I think there are several surefire ways to help us identify exactly where we are. Some of them are pretty revealing and some will undoubtedly expose some of our immaturity, our weaknesses and inconsistencies. But if we’re serious about arriving at a certain destination they can provide some serious personal growth opportunities.

Life is full of ‘tests’; all kinds of them. And if you’re serious about your walk with the Lord there’s going to be a lot of them. It’s important to know that when the Lord tests you it’s not so He can find out where you’re at…..He already knows that. No, the tests are so you can find out for yourself where you are. That’s good information!

At that point we can adjust, refocus (and repent in some cases) and seek His wisdom about our situation and then get lined up again with His plan for our lives. I’m convinced that He likes nothing more than to help us get on track. 

So, look at your life right now. If you’re in the middle of some test, observe how you’re responding to it. More than likely it’s one of those “You Are Here” opportunities!

Some others you might like:

Are You ‘Led’, or Are You ‘Driven’?

Don’t Tie the Ends Up!

Objects in the Mirror are Closer Than They Appear!

2016WordpressSignatureSM2

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

 
%d bloggers like this: