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Tag Archives: Spiritual Fathering

Let’s Start an “I Love You” Culture!

I grew up in a household where the “I love you’s” were very common. I didn’t realize how important that was until I was all grown up. As a matter of fact, I don’t guess I really came to the stark realization of just how important that was until I began to encounter person after person who didn’t have the same luxury as me. It has been a bit of an eye-opener of how many people my age never heard their dad say, “I love you.”. From experience, I’d say that moms are traditionally a lot better to say it than dads. But, saying it is important……and more important than you might imagine.

In my part of the world, I’ve been in the Texas Panhandle or Western Oklahoma all my life, it seems to have been part of the culture. Not sure if the same would go for other parts of the USA or the rest of the world for that matter but it wouldn’t surprise me. Fact is there are myriads of people out there who didn’t hear “I love you” in their home, from their parents or their people and as a result, they don’t say it either. It makes an incredible difference to hear it. I can’t number the times I’ve sat in my office with people of all ages with one after the other recanting their heartbreak over wondering if they were loved at all. Of course, in most if not nearly all cases they were loved, ……just not told.

I’m free with the term and I’ve found out that if you tell other people you love ’em in a little bit they’ll return the favor. For many who are not free with it, it may feel very awkward and unnatural at first but as time goes by it’ll start to feel like second-nature. My best example is one of my close friends; he grew up in one of those homes where he was loved but it wasn’t said. He caught the significance of what I’m talking about and started the process with his grown sons. It caught on! Now I’ll walk through our offices and hear him on the phone with one of his boys and they’ll finish the call with, “Love Ya”. It blesses me to hear that! It’s doable and you can do it too!

Now, here’s something serious to think about. If we didn’t hear it from our parents and if we believe we weren’t loved, when we start to connect with God, who is a Father, it’s extremely hard for us to believe that He can love us either. It profoundly affects the most important relationship you’ll ever have! The more you trust the Father, …..the more fulfilling your life will be! ………we need to fix this!

Tell me about your own experience. Is it easy for you or not? What difference have you seen with your people upon being told, “I love you”? Let me hear your stories.

So, here’s my proposition. I’m startin’ an “I love you” culture! It might even turn into a revolution. Wouldn’t that be something?!

Who’s with me?

 

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Prayer Changes Things!

It was the message on a little plaster of paris wall hanging at my Grandmother’s house in Wheeler, Texas. (My Mom’s Mom) I never knew my Granddad, he was killed in a motorcycle accident earlier in the year that I was born. That left her to raise 3 kids who were still at home. (2 older ones already married) She was an incredible person, in my opinion, and I’ve grown to appreciate that more and more as I’ve gotten older and understanding more of what it takes to raise a family.

One of my favorite things to do was to stay overnight, or a few days, at her house. I still vividly remember bedtime at her house. There were two beds in her room…one for her and one for Herman, my uncle, her youngest son. (only 3 years older than me) There’d be a story or two before we all fell asleep and they were always good ones. *(Herman always tried to tell a scary one..so we’d sleep with a butcher knife under our pillow for safety! lol) One story she told me when I was 3 or 4 years old was of an ‘old, old Grandmother by the name of ‘Mamaw Teak’. Well, that name ‘stuck’ and I called her that for the rest of my life.

When you’re a single mother with 3 kids in a small town you just have to do what you have to do to make ends meet. I remember her working at cafes and cleaning houses for people and then coming home completely worn out…but then cooking one of the best meals that you could possibly imagine. One of my most memorable Christmases was when Herman, my brother Monty and I all got our “Rifleman” rifles. We maintained a high level of justice on that block and kept the bad guys at bay in Wheeler, Texas for a good long while!

I think, somehow, the importance of prayer was imparted to me back in those days. That’s one of the things we’d do every night that I was at her house. And looking back and assessing her situation….I think she lived by it! They lived a simple life, a good life….but a simple life. And they got by,…I believe, by the provision of the Lord.

There’s a lot more to say on the subject of prayer. But simply put, “Prayer Changes Things”! 

*When my Grandmother passed on, I asked for this little plaster of paris wall hanging. It means a lot to me!

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Mad at God?? ….happens all the time!

I hear it pretty often from people. Because of how their life is going, or because of something that they’re convinced that God mishandled on their behalf….people do find themselves mad at Him….sometimes very mad. And I’ve seen a few, what I’d call, extreme cases where the anger lasted a lifetime. It seems sad to me but at the same time I can kind of understand how someone could end up there.

I’ve never been mad at Him. Doesn’t make me any more mature, or any more spiritual, than anyone else….I just haven’t been mad at Him. Somehow, some way I’ve known, as long as I can remember, that God is good. Remember now, that’s coming from someone who didn’t grow up in church and didn’t have a whole lot of orientation about God at all. I’ve thought about it quite a bit and I guess it boils down to a couple of things for me. 1) It was imparted to me from my Mom & Dad. I’m certain that this is true, although I can’t tell you when, where or how….it just happened….and I’m eternally grateful to them for it. 2) It’s just, simply, a revelation from the Father Himself. Personally….I think it’s a good combination of both.

I’ve had a great life, but with just as many ups and downs as the next guy. And I guess if I’m being honest, here, I’d have to say that a lot of the downs were, either directly or indirectly, self-inflicted. But not everyone’s hardships are self-inflicted such as the loss of a child or a parent. And these things can leave us wondering if God has let us down.

Well, He didn’t let you down….no matter how convinced you are of that. It’s totally against His nature as a Father to do that. I remember vividly nearly 22 years ago when our family lost a little boy. It was devastating to put it mildly. But right in the middle of our grief He spoke clearly to my spirit, “Andy, if you could see the big picture, you’d know everything is OK.” It immediately brought peace. He always knows just the right thing to say at just the right time.

I had a friend tell me recently that upon the loss of his dad that he immediately blamed God and turned his back on Him for 4 or 5 years…only to find out after that time that God didn’t give up on him…He just loved him more. 

Maybe you’re reading and you have something that you’ve been mad at Him about. (it could be consciously or subconsciously) I can tell you that God can take you being mad at Him a lot longer than you can take it. He’d love to give you His perspective on your indictment against Him….but you’ll have to be open for it.

If you’ll run to Him,….He’ll help!

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“The Way I See It” #200!

Yesterday was another milestone for me as a writer. My post, Weapons of Mass Construction, was the #200th one! That’s 200 since January 1 of this year. Sure seems like a lot when you look back from here. I’ve learned a lot of things by writing on a regular basis, not the least of which is that writing seems to help me figure me out. There’s something about writing down your thoughts that seems to be good for a soul. I’d recommend it for anyone…and I can tell you that the hardest part is to just get started. It took me a few years to write the first one.

I’ll say again that my main reason for writing is to help. Some of the posts are serious, some are funny but all of them are written from a perspective of a life that the Father has blessed immeasurably! My deepest hope is that something you’ve read has helped you to simplify your relationship with Him, and maybe get a glimpse of the Creator of the Universe Who I think modern religion may have grossly misrepresented. He’s better and more gracious than religion has portrayed Him to be…but you won’t find the full truth of that until you’re connecting relationally with Him. 

I appreciate your taking the time to read the posts. I look at every name that clicks the “Like” button. I especially appreciate your verbal feedback. I think it helps me to get better at what I’m doing. If you think they’re valuable in some way I’d appreciate you ‘passing the word’. Every time you click the “Share” button you make it available to an entire new, broader audience.

If  you’re new to the blog….take some time to go back through the “Archives” and play a little ‘catch up’. Best case scenario, go to the site, click the “Follow” button. You’ll get an email every time I make a post.

The posts that have garnered the most “Views” (nearly 41,000 total!) are not necessary my favorite ones. Below, I have listed my Top-5 Favorite Posts. Give ’em a read and let me know which have been your favorites, or ones that have really ‘spoken’ to you. Thanks a bunch!

You May Not Know This, But I’m  Kind of a Big Deal!

I’ve Never ‘Led’ Anyone to the Lord……and I Ain’t Planning on Doing it Anytime Soon!

You’ve Gotta Quit Calling Yourself a “Sinner”!

Quit Telling Me What The Problem Is!!

All I Know Is, God Loved John Very, Very Much!

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Weapons of Mass Construction

Weapons of mass destruction; It’s a term we hear pretty often these days. But it wasn’t too many years ago that the term was literally unknown to most of us. It’s interesting, however, that the first recorded mention of WMD’S was in 1937 by the Archbishop of Canterbury upon the bombardment of Guernica, Spain. Obviously, the bombing of Hiroshima would have fallen in the WMD category. And even more recently we’ve been reminded of the absence of the WMD’s that were supposed to be in Iraq. The Wikipedia definition goes like this: a nuclear, radiological, chemical, biological or other weapon that can kill and bring significant harm to a large number of humans or cause great damage to human-made structures.

You know what ‘destruction’ means, that’s easy; but here’s what ‘Construction’ means:  to build, to build up, to erect, put up, set up, raise, establish, assemble, manufacture, fabricate, create, to help, to make. In essence it’s the exact opposite of ‘destruction’. Construction is a very good word!

I had a thought; What if we were to identify, and then use our ‘Weapons of Mass Construction’ to bring about good in the world? We’d use these WMC’s to bring ‘life’ and significant good (as opposed to WMD’s) to a large number of humans. And, let’s not undershoot the runway,….I say let’s bring ‘life’ and significant good to the entire planet.

Here’s how I propose we do it; First we need to identify ‘weapons’ that would bring profound and lasting good to mankind. When I think of what those might be my mind immediately goes to my/our relationship with the Father. It’s an incredible revelation, understanding that He’s handpicked us as His own sons and daughters. And when we begin to understand it,….it changes virtually everything!

And the other weapon….well it’s the thing that is naturally produced out of our relationship with the Father. LOVE! As we’re exposed to His love we begin to love like He does,….unconditionally, and without demands or restrictions! It’s the most ‘life-giving’ and transformational thing that exists in all of creation! It gives life…and it transforms, not only with individuals and families, but also with cities and nations!

Engaging in relationship with the Father…..and loving like He does….we can change the world with these Weapons of Mass Construction!

You’ll probably like these, too:

How Are We  Doing  in the ‘Thing’ That Matters Most?

“I Yub Ooo Too, Daddy”

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That One “Nut Job”!

It’s been a ‘phenomenon’, I guess you could call it, that’s been going on my entire life. I remember even when I was a kid it was happening with me, and I just keep on finding myself in the same scenario over and over again.

I’ve made this statement, or a variation of it, at least a hundred times down through the years. It went something like this: “I could go to Dallas Cowboy Stadium where there’s a hundred thousand people….and if there’s one ‘nut job’ there, ……he’ll find me!”. It’s a true story and it’s happened with me more often than you’d believe.

It was a few years ago, and after it’d just happened again, (don’t remember when or where but it did happen) that I made that same statement again. But this time it was different….I mean, really different! Immediately on making that statement, that ‘still small voice’ of the Lord spoke ever so clearly to my spirit saying, “I know, Andy….that’s a ‘gift’ I’ve given you!” I’m telling you it was a ‘gut-check’ of epic proportions! And as that thing captured my entire attention He followed it with, “I don’t trust those kind of people with just anyone!”. 

I don’t know if you can grasp the complete gravity of what the Lord said to me. But, for me, it was one of those, “stop you dead in your tracks”, kinds of things. In fact I can’t remember any other time in my life that His word to me was any clearer and life-altering than this one thing. It totally changed my entire perspective on that ‘phenomenon’, literally, in a moment of time! All of a sudden I saw ‘those people’ like the Father sees them….and it changed everything!

My heart was broken…..in a very good way, by how I’d viewed all those people down through the years before. And since that day I can’t even tell this story without being brought to tears.

So, they’re still coming, maybe with a greater frequency than ever before,….but everything has changed for me…..and in turn….maybe them, too!

I think you’ll like this one, too:

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It’s  ‘Atmospheric’, …..There’s No Question About It!

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Double Check Your “Invitation List”!!

You’ll be glad you did. Anytime you’re going to host an event, party or get together of any kind you first have to think about who you want to be there. I don’t do many things where I have to think about that but if I did…..I’d definitely double-check! I’m an ‘all-inclusive’ kind of guy and I’d be scared that I’d leave somebody out. That would be awkward and it’d make me feel really, really bad to leave somebody out….and it’d probably make them feel bad too. Yep….definitely double-check the invite list!

Years and years ago there was a wedding happening. There were a lot of people at this wedding; actually quite a few more than the wedding planner had bargained for. So, naturally the refreshments started to run low. The wine for the wedding was just about to the point of running completely out but luckily the hostess had invited her Son to the wedding. She instructed the other helpers at the wedding to do whatever her Son said. He told the helpers to fill up the water containers and take them to the wedding table. When the containers were poured out….miraculously wine was in them! Not the cheap stuff either….it was fine wine.

You’ve probably figured out by now that it was Jesus Who was invited to the wedding. It was the first miracle He performed….changing water into wine.

Have you invited Him? Have you invited Him to your life, to your problems and dilemmas? Have you invited Him to your relationship problems or your business decisions? Have you invited Him to your 401k or your family functions? There could be some miraculous things happen if we would actually invite Him into our little world.

…..PS-And, don’t worry about sending a self-addressed stamp envelope for the RSVP. You can be sure that if you invite Him, He will definitely come!

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