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Category Archives: Humor

400

Just passed blog #400 a few days ago! Seems like a lot seeing that I took all of 2018 off to do other projects. I set up my blog page in 2012 but only wrote 1 blog. None whatsoever in ’13 or ’14. 2015 was different. I wrote 209 that year. Had over 44,000 views; 24,000 visitors in ’15. 116 in 2016 and 60 in 2017. My hands were full those years working through personal issues.

I actually started writing for a few reasons. One, I enjoy it. And, I decided if I’m going to write I want to get better at it. I think I have. Just my own opinion. Two, I know I have some really important books to write and didn’t want to half-a$$ ’em. I now have one down (Reading Your Bible For All It’s Worth) and several more to go, four already started. And, three, writing is therapeutic for me. I enjoy doing it. Thank you for checking some of ’em out. I’m grateful!

Here’s a little of my blog history with a few of the ones that people liked and a few that were favorites for me. click on the link to read, …and share if you feel like it:

Most read: Lady Gaga, Little Monsters, and Jesus

Some of my Faves:

How Gunner Payne Changed the World

I’ve Never ‘Led’ Anyone to the Lord……and I Ain’t Planning on Doing it Anytime Soon!

Maybe You Should Quit Whippin’ Your Own A#$!!

There’s Grace For That

You May Not Know This, But I’m Kind of a Big Deal!

Have a Nice Day, Lord!

Grace, Freedom and the NFL

A few just for fun:

You Oughta See Us When We Ain’t Winnin’!

Sacrifice Cats? Why, Yes…..Yes, We Do!

Avoid the Vending Machine, Microwave, Green Chile Burritos at the Albuquerque Airport at All Costs!!

There’s a few to check out. There’s 390 some more if you have a mind to. Check ’em out. Give me a little feedback. Maybe you have a favorite. Let me know.

….and thanks!

 

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Write On!

I think I knew early on, even as a teenager in high school, that I had at least a little bit of a gift to write. Of course, any gift like that or any other without putting yourself to the task just ain’t gonna happen. It takes some discipline, some practice and quite a bit of time before the writing is going to be significant and mean anything to anyone else. That being said I started looking back over the last several years of working pretty steadily to improve my writing skills. Just a rough estimate I’ve written between 600-700 newspaper articles, over 100 youth/children lessons, several hundred miscellaneous pieces, 400 + blogs published and nearly 100 either completed or partially completed and ….now a book! *(4 others started)

Writing for me is therapeutic. I’ve found it to be very good for me. In fact, if it were to happen that no one ever reads any of my stuff I’d still have to say it has been very good for me. I enjoy the exercise of writing and for that reason, I’ve encouraged those around me to start writing something, too. Anything…. .Just write!

I’m grateful that I’m a reader, too. I think the best writers are probably all strong readers as well. Because I’m a reader I know what kind of books I like to read; I know the structure of books that I like to read. For instance, I like a chapter to be about eight pages or less. I struggle with 25-30 page chapters. Shorter chapters make me feel like I’m accomplishing something. They say you can’t judge a book by its cover but as for me, a good cover gets my attention. I’m drawn to good book covers and I found while trying to find an adequate image for my book cover, that it’s not that easy to find something you like and you think others might be drawn to. *Check out the cover on my new book and give me your thoughts. Personally, I love the subliminal message the image conjures up. It says something and it describes, I think, what the book is about.

I plan to write a few blogs about the new book, (click on link to find my book on Amazon) “Reading Your Bible For All It’s Worth”, to communicate why I wrote it in the first place since it’s a book that I hadn’t planned on writing at all….and why I think it’s an important book for you, …..and why I think its’ a book that’ll be around a lot longer than I’ll be around.

Instructions: Since Facebook will no longer post blogs to a personal profile if you want to read them you’ll have to go to my blog page, www.andyrtaylor.com, find the “Follow” link and connect that way. I hope you do! You might even find some of my previous blogs to be interesting and entertaining.

Thanks for going on this journey with me!

 

 

 

 

 

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You Oughta See Us When We Ain’t Winnin’!

It was back in the late ’70s, during my rodeo days.  We had driven all night the night before from Montgomery, Alabama with very little sleep. Only what little you could get in the back, or front, seat of a car with four others packed in there too. We had finished riding on this particular night in the rodeo in San Angelo, Texas. It was around midnight and we pulled into an all-night convenience store to get stocked up for another all-nighter to Phoenix. We dropped off one guy so there’d only be four of us for this trip. One less driver….but more room to sleep!

We made our trip around the c-store and brought all our stuff and put it on the counter to check out. Out there on the counter were big bags of potato chips, Doritos, pork skins, Cheetos, Louisiana Hot Sauce, Slim-Jims, Fritos, bean dip, beef jerky, peanuts, a few candy bars………oh, and a case of beer. The night manager, a gentleman in his 40’s, looked over all the items we put on the counter, shook his head back and forth a few times, ….looked me square in the eye and said, in an extremely serious tone, “How in the hell do you guys live??!!” …..To which I quickly replied, “Heck, that ain’t nothin’, you oughta see us when we ain’t winnin’!”

True Story!

 

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So Easy A Caveman Can Do It

Remember the Geico commercials? The storyline involved a couple of cavemen who lived in modern society. The point was that using Geico’s website was “so easy a caveman could do it”, indicated that being a caveman didn’t require all that much intelligence. Their response that they were being discriminated against, or at the very least had their feelings hurt, drew a lot of attention and got a lot of mileage for Geico.

I think a lot of times we make our Christian life a whole lot harder than it ought to be. I’m not saying life can’t be hard; it can! But, just the fact that we’re believers should simplify it in a very profound way. Think about it this way; There should never be a time or situation in our life where we don’t know what to do. We have the Holy Spirit living in us to show us the way at every turn. The Bible even says about us, “we have the mind of Christ”! We have the awesome assurance that when we leave this life we’re immediately in heaven. Our eternal security is sealed! That should relieve us of a lot of unfounded worry! And, instead of having the daunting task of, somehow, trying to plan out our own life….He’s even already done that for us. We must, however, be ‘connected’ to Him to find out all the details of that plan. But….He doesn’t make that hard. He’s even promised to never leave us nor forsake us; that in itself should make even the most harsh situations easier to endure.

But, undoubtedly, the most important thing of all is that God is a Father. It’s a relationship that anyone can understand. He desperately desires to interact with us on a personal basis. He’s done everything possible to make that a reality for us. All we have to do is to engage…..and immediately begin to enjoy the benefits.

You’ve heard the term, “It’s complicated”, right?

Well, this isn’t complicated. In fact, “it’s so easy even a caveman can do it”!!

Check this one:

It’s Complicated

 

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Organ Donors

I donated a piano to a church once; does that count? I really did but that’s not why I decided to write this. I was sitting with three other very close friends a day or two ago and the topic came up. I said, “I’m an organ donor, are y’all?”. It was unanimous in the room of the four of us. We had all, somewhere down the line, decided that when something serious happened to us they (whoever ‘they’ are) could use any of our body parts that they’d choose for someone else needing such things. My first thought was, “that’s a pretty noble thing to do; downright honorable if you ask me”.

I thought that for just a few seconds before sheer reality set in. I looked at the other three guys in the room and considered myself as well. Then I got to thinkin’…..”exactly what body part would anyone possibly need that we had?” I mean, if you consider that the oldest of our little group is around seventy…and the youngest sixty-one there just ain’t much left that anyone would really need. Case in point: I’ve got two bad knees, one hip replacement, shoulders that have been overused and abused, one ankle that’ll roll without a warning, a toenail that’s trying to come off due to a bull stepping on it….twice, years ago. Julie says I’m gettin’ hard of hearin’, at least that’s what I think she said. But, I guess when you get right down to it my nose works great. (I can smell meat on the grill from a quarter mile away!) And my eyes are decent….but they’d need to throw my glasses in on the deal if they wanted to get much use out of them. I seem to be really, really healthy around the middle….but who needs that?!

And the other guys; well one’s got a shoulder that’s messed plumb up, another got his pelvis busted in several places, and the healthiest one’s got a nagging sound in his ear that just about drives him crazy. But, by gosh, we’re organ donors! Kinda makes me wonder if we’re really doing anybody any favors! All I can say is, if anyone needs anything we’ve got…..they’re in really, really bad shape!

But, what if our heart (no, not the one that’s still beating in our chest!), you know…our attitude toward God, and people and just life in general, is something that could be reproduced in the people around us? What if the way we handled criticism, adversity or grief was something that someone else could use? What if we took the hardships in life and because of our ‘heart’ we didn’t lose our sense of humor and, somehow, turned those things into victories? What if we hung onto the Lord when we didn’t think we had anything else to hang onto, and our lives actually made a difference? What if??

If you consider those things maybe we actually do have a chance in someone using something of us that’ll make their life better.

 

*Check out John Prine’s song here. He may have it all figured out!

 

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Turkeys Just Need to Tend to Their Own Business!

I’m a little put out! Turkeys, yeah you know…the big goofy lookin’ bird, are beginning to get a little big for their britches, if you know what I mean. They’re really starting to get on my nerves. I don’t mind a slice or two of turkey around Thanksgiving. It’s not necessarily my meat of choice on that holiday, or any other for that matter, but I’ll do it if I have to. If I’m forced to eat it I’ll go for the deep fried, cajun version.

But, the last few years turkeys have been branching out into new areas and I think it’s a huge mistake on their part. I’m sure you’ve noticed turkey jerky. Now that’s plumb out of character for a turkey. He shouldn’t be doing that at all. Then there’s turkey chili! Are you kidding me??!! Absurd! No way should a turkey be attempting to be the main ingredient in a fine dining dish like chili! It ain’t right! But the worst offense of all is now they’re doing turkey bacon. That’s downright un-American! I had a friend visiting here awhile back from back east. We went to a popular breakfast spot and when it was his time to order he asked if they had turkey bacon. The waitress looked at him thinkin’ he must’ve been joking….but he wasn’t. I cut through the awkward haze by saying, “He ain’t from around here!”.

Now, here’s the way it oughta be. Turkeys, listen up! You need to stick with Thanksgiving. We’re giving you that. But, jerky…..NO! That’s something that’s way better left to deer and beef. Cattle know what they’re doing when it comes to jerky…so just leave ’em alone and do your own thing. And, chili, ……..c’mon now. You know that ain’t in your job description. Nobody in their right mind’s gonna opt in for turkey chili. It don’t even sound good.

Now, let’s get this straight once and for all; You back off and leave the bacon alone! That’s a specialty that’s best left to the hogs. Hogs were made for bacon. I mean, you don’t see them trying to push bacon on folks for Thanksgiving, do you? Right! You can brag all you want about turkey being a more healthy choice but it ain’t working. There’s just some things real people ain’t wiling to compromise….and bacon’s one of ’em! Besides there’s no way that turkey bacon can put a sheen on your hair like the real thing!

So, turkeys, ….just tend to your own business; stay in your lane. And, quit trying to do things that are way out of your pay grade!

Do that…..and we’ll get along just fine!

 

Just for laughs:

The ‘Baddest’ Dang Turkey in Arkansas!

The Luge….Western Oklahoma Style!

 
 

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Sacrifice Cats? Why, Yes…..Yes We Do!

When we started Trinity Fellowship back in 1989 there were less than ten of us. We didn’t know much but we were sure we’d heard the Lord. Those early years were extremely challenging (as have been the rest of ’em! lol), but really rewarding too. Looking back, those were some great years. The little group of people we started with were growing in the Lord….and we were growing in how to lead them. We were literally in the ‘school of the Spirit’! Being the only non-denominational church in town we had to grow through what I call, “the snake handlers syndrome”. Because you’re different there’s a lot of talk….and much of it was negative talk. They don’t know what you’re doing….but because it’s different it has to be wrong. We were looked down on by the other leaders and churches in town and often ignored, made fun of and treated with disrespect. That all served to make us that much more determined to hear the Lord and be obedient to what we believed He was saying to us.

One particular case in point was when one of the ladies in our group came to me somewhat distressed. She said that another person asked her at the beauty shop if it was true that we sacrificed cats, …….if you can believe that! I asked the lady from our group what she told them, to which she replied, “I told her….NO! ….absolutely not!!” I said, “Well, you go right back down there and tell ‘em that we do sacrifice cats!” She had a surprised and puzzled look on her face. I said, “But be sure and tell ‘em there’s nothing religious about it……we just don’t like cats!” I don’t think she told ‘em!! LOL, I do think we had quite a few visitors who came just out of curiosity!

But, seriously, there’s not one thing that cleanses a feller’s soul quite like a good ‘ol cat sacrificin’!

*(Easy cat lovers….I’m just kidding!)

More humor:

“It’ll Ride”

Them Swallows Can’t Return to Capistrano Soon Enough For Me!

Just Some Friendly Advice: Always Approach a Possum With Extreme Caution!!

 

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