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Just Some Friendly Advice: Always Approach a Possum With Extreme Caution!!

17 Jul

About a year after we had moved from the ranch in Texas we were living in a nice place just 10 miles south of Cheyenne, Oklahoma. We had a big ‘ol Chow dog named “Buddy”. He wasn’t much count for anything except for barking non-stop if he heard or saw anything during the night. It had become pretty common for the possums to come up during the night and try to steal some of his dog food. He killed a couple of them and I imagine a couple dozen or more got some of his food and made their escape. That happened at least once a week. The big house we lived in had a nice, wrap-around porch all across the front and around one side. On the front porch we had a long church pew; it was about a 12 footer. His favorite thing was to get one of those possums hemmed up and bark at them until the fight happened or they, by chance, got away.

It was the middle of the summer and the yearly rodeo was going on in Cheyenne so we thought we ought to take in a night of it. We got home about 11 pm and got the kids put down and were just about to ‘hit the sack’ when ‘ol Buddy went to barking. It doesn’t take much of that to start wearing on my patience, you understand. I’m barefooted and in my underwear, (tighty-whiteys in those days…..I have since upgraded!). I grabbed a broom on the way out the door and it was just as I thought. He had him a possum down the porch at the end of the long church pew. Now, nobody likes possums; I guess they’re harmless but they’re just nasty if you ask me. My plan was to spook him off the porch with the broom and then let nature take it’s course.

I’m ticked off and yelling at ‘ol Buddy, who’s still barking furiously, as I neared the end of the church pew. Well…..when I got to the end of the pew and reared back to smack the varmint with my broom…..I finally got a good look at the possum. But, it wasn’t a possum!

Now, I don’t know if you’ve ever seen a BADGER at point-blank range with all his teeth showing (it looked like a few dozen of ’em), slobberin’, hissin’….and ready to attack……with nothing but your underwear on or not! It was a first for me!! My whole life flashed in front of me! Instantaneously I had a vision of me being ripped to shreds by this maniac of an animal! He was On. The. Hook.!! I mean….have you ever heard a ‘good’ story about a badger?? Right! That’s ’cause there ain’t no good stories about ’em!! Every outrageous, horrifying thing I’d ever heard before about badgers somehow, at that moment, seemed really legit!

I bet you could still see my toe prints in the concrete on that porch where I skidded to a stop! In my mind I said, “If you’ll just give me one tenth of a second….I’ll be out of your life forever!” Well, fate happened to be on my side that night….thank the Lord! I have no idea what happened to the badger; don’t even care! I was just glad to get out of there with my life!

That was the last time I ever rambled down the porch with a broom! (I’m a quick learner!) And, just between you and me, I can’t remember if I ever wore those underwear again or not!

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5 responses to “Just Some Friendly Advice: Always Approach a Possum With Extreme Caution!!

  1. Nelson Hill

    July 17, 2015 at 6:08 am

    Great visualisation Andy, I could see the scene unfolding as you described it!

     
  2. Alpha Agency

    July 17, 2015 at 6:27 am

    Great story Andy!

     
  3. 777aliehs

    July 17, 2015 at 6:44 am

    Yikes and ha, ha, ha!!! 🙂 Caution and carefulness is a good message!!! 🙂 Thanks!!! Rock on, clothed in His robe of righteousness!!!

     
  4. Jack Taylor

    July 17, 2015 at 2:54 pm

    Andy, I anticipate reading every issue of your posts, declaring to myself that each one is better than the one before. Keep them coming and one day we will gather them in categories, the ones that make you think, the ones that make you cry, the ones that make you laugh or, if you want them all together in one book, folks could choose which to read according to what they think they need! You might think of this factor as you think of future posts: How do you want to tend to make people respond? Index might look like this: I. THOUGHTS TO MAKE YOU THINK II.TOUGHTS TO MAKE YOU CRY FOR JOY III. THOUGHTS TO MAKE YOU WONDER IV. THOUGHTS TO MAKE YOU LAUGH V. THOUGHTS TO MAKE YOU ANGRY VI. THOUGHTS TO MAKE YOU GRIPE VII. THOUGHTS THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY VIII, THOUGHTS THAT MAKE YOU SAD FOR HURT VIV. THOUGHTS THAT MAKE YOU REPENT OR_______ WHATEVER AS MANY AS YOU CAN THINK OF! My response to reading an index such as that would be, “I’ll take a dozen, one for me, one for my wife and one each for the first ten close friends that come to mind. Then a Christmas list, birthdays, anniversaries, and all celebrations would have me buying for any I run into that thought that they had everything! It could be published as novelty item, hard back or kaivar (not needing a jacket) cover with title and info printed on it (like Myles Munroe’s books) Just some loose thinking on the spur of the moment. Think about it! Love you and proud of you! Jack

     
  5. Marki Laughlin

    July 17, 2015 at 3:22 pm

    Yeah, I’ve thought things were one way and found out they weren’t. It IS quiet surprising. Great story.

     

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