I had a speaking engagement recently in Oklahoma City. It was held at a huge, and elaborate, venue….and there were several hundred people in attendance….and I was the ‘Keynote Speaker’. When I arrived and assessed the situation I immediately text Julie and said, “This is kind of a big deal! I’m pretty sure I’m out of my league. You better be praying for me!” I could immediately relate to how Forrest Gump felt when he went to the White House!
After a very honoring introduction I made my way to the podium. And, I thought….“Well, I guess I should let this big crowd of bank presidents, doctors, lawyers…and professional people of every type know that my credentials as a ‘keynote speaker’ are definitely up towards the top of the scale of speaker qualifications.” You’re probably wondering by now what those credentials are. Here’s the ‘short list’:
- I was in the largest graduating class that ever graduated from Allison, Texas High School (I call it the Institute of Higher Learning…just sounds better to me! lol) There were 15 of us!! I was in the Top-15 in my graduating class! (*Barely)
- I have been the “Keynote Speaker” at the Sayre, Oklahoma Kindergarten Graduation...not once, not twice, but 3 times! And if my own kids will keep havin’ kids, I could have a ‘lock’ on that gig for a few more years!
- I’m the only guy I know of that has been ‘kicked out’ of the Canadian, Texas Moose Lodge! *via a certified letter no less (You might argue that it’s not a qualifying factor but either way….I do hold that distinction) *Keep in mind, that was in the BC (Before Christ) days
- Roger Mills County Jr Spelling Bee Champ (4th Grade – Winning Word – “executive”) What ‘ya think about that, huh?!!
I know a ‘goat ropin’, and a tractor pull or two on my resume would make my qualifications a little more legit but I just haven’t had the hankerin’ to go to either of them. I have, however, roped a few goats and driven a tractor a little if that counts. And I guess if you consider the fact that I’ve seen Ernest Tubb in person I’d pretty much be overqualified for about any kind of speaking engagement.
I hope you’re not intimidated by that stellar list of qualifications….and if you need a top-notch speaker for your Senior Citizens Dinner, garage sale or maybe your family reunion….I just might be your guy! ……..and don’t worry about my fee ………I ain’t cheap…..but I’ll work with ‘ya!
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