It was otherwise a normal, great, Sunday church service. The house was full and the worship was right on. Well, nearing the end of worship time a guy in our church, we’ll just call John Doe, came up where I was on the front row. Now this J Doe is a peculiar dude….I mean really peculiar. He started to give me what I’d loosely call a prophetic word, although it wasn’t very prophetic at all. He meant well. Toward the end of his three minute prophetic utterance…..he kissed me on the cheek! Aaawwwkward! Besides that it was kinda juicy too! I did NOT see that coming!
Well, worship ended, I finished the service and as soon as church was over the Perry’s, Daryle, Carrie, Micah and Nate…and the whole Taylor tribe, 7 of us, loaded up and headed for Red River for a week of skiing and relaxation, like we did about every year for six or seven years. Daryle and I are in his pickup and the rest of the crew were all in our big ‘ol conversion van that was loaded down with food, clothes and kids. We were out around Borger, Texas and Daryle was noticing that I was uncharacteristically quiet. He says, “Hey Bud, what’s up?” “Nothing”. Well, he obviously knows me better than that. “C’mon now, I know something’s eating on ‘ya.” To which I replied, “John Doe kissed me!” He started laughing as hard as I’ve ever seen anyone laugh in my entire life! He did this for 50 miles; he’d start to try to talk and he’d bust up laughing again. He’s not laughing ‘with’ me…….he’s laughing ‘at’ me!!
Well, about two or three weeks later in a similar church service, all going good…and here comes John Doe again! But this time he heads straight for Daryle, who is also on the front row with about 300 people looking down on him. Well, ‘ol JD passed right by me this time! Yep, you guessed it…..he’s going to give DP one of those hokey prophetic words today. And, just like clockwork, about the time he finished up he gives ‘ol DP one of them real juicy kisses too! I mean, it was a good ‘un! I cannot describe to you the look on his face but he kinda looked like he was nauseated or sick at his stomach…..which in all actuality….I think he was! Can you imagine how much I’m enjoying this??!! I doubt it!
Well, after ‘ol J Doe headed back to his seat I made eye contact with Daryle and I said in a loud whisper, “You get you some sugar?!!” He never said a word! He did, however, still have that, ‘I’m about to throw up’, look on his face!
Do what you wanna do…..but for me….that, “Greet the Brethren With a Holy Kiss” Thing, is Waaaay Overrated! I’m guessing DP will totally agree!