Funeral

It’s Either a Blessing or a Curse!

/ Andy R Taylor / 14 Comments

I know exactly which of the two it is….but, seriously, there are times that I wonder. As a kid there were a couple of my classmates that were killed in accidents, another one or two that died from vicious diseases. Joe Wingo, a ranch kid, was flying his kite when it got tangled up in some electric wires. He climbed up on a tank with a metal rod to try to untangle it when he was electrocuted. Joe Glenn Crane, just about the sweetest kid you’ve ever seen, was healthy as could be in the first grade….but by the third grade he’d contracted Muscular Dystrophy and was confined to a wheelchair. Both died before they were in junior high.

I was broken hearted both times; didn’t understand. Their funeral services were devastating for me. So, early on in my life, I subconsciously developed an attitude that would cause me to avoid funerals at any cost, no matter whose they were. It worked for me for a long time, or at least I thought so. It wasn’t long after I began doing ministry that I was asked to do my first funeral. I immediately thought, “No Way”! But the deceased person was the Granddad of a close personal friend so I felt like I couldn’t say no. I was serious in prayer with the Lord because I knew that I couldn’t do it without His help. I made it through the service just fine but didn’t really care if I ever did another one or not.

Well that was about 28 years ago and since that very first funeral I’ve done in the neighborhood of 360 more. Here’s my struggle; I can’t separate myself from the feelings that the family members of the deceased have. You’d think that after that many funeral services it’d get to be pretty routine. Not so for me. In fact it might be a funeral for someone that I don’t even know. I’ll get emotional just about every single time. When little grandkids come by the casket after the service is over and they’re breaking down with tears…..it’s about all I can do to contain myself. In some strange way it’s as if I’m feeling exactly what they feel. In fact about ten ears ago I did a service for a daddy and his little boy whose vehicle was t-boned by semi truck. It was hard and I remember driving from the church to the cemetery (about 15 miles) and telling the Lord, “I don’t want to do this anymore”. It was if the Lord spoke immediately my spirit, “Andy, you don’t have to do it anymore….but if you do I’ll give you a greater anointing to do it.” Well, here I am today…..still doin’ ’em!

I think Jesus was like this. It appears that He so identified with the feelings and the emotional state of people that he literally felt what they were feeling. There hasn’t been a funeral yet that has felt ‘routine’. Every single one is somebody’s grandmother, somebody’s dad, or somebody’s little girl. My next one….a little 16 year old boy, only child, a good kid that suffocated in a grain trailer. I’m already feeling what the family is feeling. I think I’ll be able to comfort and console them because of it.

It’s not a curse…..I know it’s a blessing. It just doesn’t feel like it a lot of the time!

Here’s a similar blog:

“Known”

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I’m Going Out on a Limb, Here, And Say It’s Beyond Your Capacity to Imagine!

/ Andy R Taylor / 2 Comments

Did another funeral yesterday (#347). It’s always an honor to be asked to do a service for a family. And even though it’s a day of sadness and grief for family and friends….it’s a great opportunity to give them comfort and to tell the ‘good news’. Over the years I’ve seen a lot of different situations with families going through the loss of a loved one. It’s hard when there’s tension among the siblings, which I see a lot more than I’d like to. I feel for the family members who regret not having spent the quality time with the deceased that they feel they should have. There’s dozens of other scenarios that the passing of a family member brings to light. I’ve tried to be as helpful as I possibly could be in those, sometimes volatile…and painful, situations.

There’s nothing like a funeral to bring people’s thoughts on eternal things. I think that can be a very good, very productive thing in people’s lives. Of course, for me and the performing of a funeral….the one thing that can calm all the fears and uncertainty for the family is if the deceased person had a relationship with God. If so, the service can be upbeat and encouraging. Most of the time at least one of the family members knows the answer to the question…but not every time. In those situations where nobody really knows…I always have peace knowing that the Lord is gracious and compassionate….and a fair Judge.

I have an opinion that I can’t prove….so it’s just an opinion…but I’ve thought about it a lot. I think we’ve underestimated death and our passing from this life to the next one. My opinion is that it’s a whole lot more glorious than we would ever think. If the Father is as good to us in this life as He is….it just makes sense that our passing from here to there would be Some Kind of amazing trip! The problem is that we haven’t had anyone come back and tell us how it is.

You may have a really healthy imagination but my opinion is that the trip is glorious beyond our capacity to imagine!

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By The Numbers

/ Andy R Taylor / 2 Comments

I was thinking a few days ago about what I do and just wondered how many times I’ve preached a message, how many funerals I’ve presided over, how many ‘corporate’ prayer meetings I’ve led, how many ‘ministry’ school sessions I’ve taught in, how many conferences I’ve spoken at, how many civic events I’ve been asked to speak at, how many marriages I’ve performed, how many different churches I’ve spoken at, how many ‘small group’ meetings I’ve led, how many youth camp services I’ve led, how many graduations I’ve spoken at, ordination services I’ve been a part of, etc. So, I thought I’d try to count it up. It’s a ‘ballpark’ guess at best and I’m trying to be conservative.

Sunday/Wednesday Messages:  2125  

Funerals:  350

Prayer Meetings Led:  1144

Ministry School Sessions:  60

Conference Messages:  60

Civic Events:  35

Marriages:  100

Different Churches:  60

Led Small Groups: 100

Youth Camp Messages: 100

Graduations:  20

Ordination Services:  40

Misc.:  25

Grand Total:  4319  

……in addition to that…..

Newspaper Articles: 550

Blogs: 125

Small Group Lessons: 100

Radio Shows:  85

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“Keith” – It Was a Short Friendship….But a Good One!

/ Andy R Taylor / 14 Comments

Sitting in a local truck-stop about midnight with some friends when a guy from another table came over to ours’.  Keith was a truck driver from a town about an hour away. He said, “I could tell from overhearing you guys that you believe in God.”  He went on to say, “I’m in a bad way, I need help.” He then began to pour his heart out to us. Turned out that his wife had left him for his best friend and he was about a low as a man could be. We talked with him for an hour or so, then prayed with him to receive Jesus.

I made it a point to call Keith at least once a week, which I did for a couple of months. He’d have a lot of bad days and a good one here and there. Then one week he called me. I vividly remember the call. He said, “You know you’re always calling me to check in and cheer me up, but today I’m having a really good day….and I just wanted to call and say thank you. I think I’m going to be OK.”  

Tried to call him a couple weeks later, but no answer. I tried to call him at least a dozen times over the next month. I bumped into a longtime friend from Keith’s hometown and asked him if he knew Keith. He said that he did and then told me that Keith had been found dead in his truck about a month before of an apparent heart attack. My friend told me about his funeral and said that Keith’s folks had no idea of his decision to receive Jesus.

It was really rewarding to be able to call Keith’s mom and tell her about our midnight truck-stop meeting. You can imagine the peace that it gave her. I also got the opportunity to meet his son a few months later and tell him that his Dad belonged to the Lord….and would be waiting for him in heaven. I think of Keith often and how blessed I was to know him….even if it was just for a short time.

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All I Know Is, God Loved John a Lot!

/ Andy R Taylor / Leave a comment

I’ve done, in the neighborhood of, three hundred ninety funerals over the years. I’ve never been able to separate my feelings from the feelings the family of a deceased loved one has. That being said, they are all pretty taxing on me, every one of them. It’s just one of those things that I believe the Lord has wanted me to do.

I had one a few years ago for a dad and his little boy whose pickup got hit by a truck. Another one for a dad and his two kids that burnt up in their house. Those really took it out of me. I clearly remember driving to the gravesite after the funeral service. That day, I’d had all I could take.I told the Lord, straight up, I didn’t want to do funerals anymore. I felt like I heard him clearly; “You don’t have to do them anymore, but if you do I’ll give you a greater anointing to do them.” That was thirteen years ago and I’m still doing them. (did one today, in fact) 

But I had one some months back that was, maybe, my greatest challenge yet. It was a funeral service for an atheist. I had met John (name changed to protect the family) several years before when he and his fiance came by my office for me to marry them. He told me that day that he was an atheist and that he didn’t want to talk about the Lord. I said, “OK, but if you ever do want to talk about Him, I’m your guy.” He agreed. We never had that conversation. I found out later that as a little boy his dad would take the Bible and shame him and condemn him with it. In my mind, it turned John away from the Lord.

I got the call about doing John’s service. His wife’s family is a very special family to me. I met with his wife and we talked about the service and John’s wishes. I thought about it for hours. What would I say? I just kept coming up empty. I didn’t sleep much the night before, still weighted down by the task ahead. As I walked out of my house the next day to drive the 40 miles to the graveside service, the Lord spoke clearly to my spirit. “Andy, John’s life mattered.” He had a bout with drugs earlier in his life and took it upon himself to get free, which he did. He made it one of his life projects to help anyone who was wanting to do the same, which he did. He had three sons who he was a great dad to. He was a good husband to his wife, as well.

There were a hundred people or more at the graveside service. The attitude of most everyone there was extremely somber. I said what the Lord had spoken to me, “John’s life mattered. It mattered to his wife, it mattered to his boys, it mattered to the ones he helped to kick the drugs. His life mattered to God!” I said, “Most everyone here knows that John’s convictions about God were different than most of ours’.” I continued, “I’m glad that I’m not responsible to be the Judge; we’d do well to examine our own selves and leave the judging to God.” “But there are a couple of things I’m a hundred percent certain of, God is fair……and God loved John a lot!”

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