“God, If You’re Out There, You Gotta Help Me!”

That’s the most profound prayer I ever prayed. It’s not very professional sounding but I hadn’t had much practice when I prayed it! It was exactly 31 years ago today when I sat on the edge of my bed out on the ranch in the Texas Panhandle. I came home from a trip to Oklahoma City with a close friend. I dropped him off an hour from my house and headed home. I don’t know any other way to describe the 60 miles from there to home except to say that I was weeping (I don’t even use that word) uncontrollably. My marriage was over and I had about every problem that you could imagine. I got to my house, out there in the middle of nowhere, went in the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror….and hated everything about me. I saw myself turning into something that I knew better than. And I went in my bedroom, sat on the end of my bed…..still weeping, with no hope….. and said, “God, if you’re out there….You’ve gotta help me!” 

I have a great family….always supportive. And, I’ve always had a lot of good friends, I mean really good friends, ones you could ‘count on’.…but I was in a place in my life where no one could really help me but the Lord. At the time I thought it was the worst time in my life….but looking back it turned out to be the best…..even though I didn’t know it at the time. 

I knew nothing about trusting God; I knew nothing about walking by faith but I was in such a messed up place in my life that, out of desperation, I, just kind of blindly, put my trust in the Lord. It was the right thing to do!

One of my problems was over with overnight; it was supernatural, miraculous, really!  ……the rest of my problems were not over with overnight! I’m grateful to the Lord for fixing that one thing….but I’m more grateful to Him for ‘not’ fixing all the others that way. I’m afraid if He would have….it would’ve been like it had been the previous ten years. I’d run to Him when I was in a jam in my life…and when that set of circumstances was over…I was back to ‘my own way’.…never having any kind of real relationship with the Lord.

He had no good reason to rescue me….but He did! It’s a longer story. I’ll tell the rest of it somewhere along the way but the most important thing is that…..whatever’s going on with you….He has the answer and He’ll help you now. 

Maybe all you can say is, “Help”! Turns out, that’s enough! He’ll hear….and He’ll help! That….I’m sure of!

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A “Disposable” Relationship

 

Gem City, Texas…….and the Prayer That Should’ve Never Been!

Prayer is an important ingredient of the Christian life. It’s at least one way that we’re able to communicate with the Father. I pray a lot these days. It’s probably not prayer like you might classify it, but it’s prayer, nonetheless. It’s mostly (but not limited to) just a one liner here and there. A lot of times I’ll just say, “Help me Lord”, or I’ll just speak a healing prayer over someone that comes to mind. I pray for Julie every morning when I put my wedding ring on, have for years. Anyway, my point is, prayer is a priority for me and I try to simply follow the lead of the Holy Spirit in doing it.

But there was a time in my life that I didn’t pray much. I mean, I prayed back during my rodeo career…..and daily, when I was getting on bulls every day. There’s just something about climbing down on an 1800 lb bull that makes you want to pray….if you know what I mean. But other than that prayer wasn’t a huge priority in my life. Should’ve been…..just wasn’t.

Life on the ranch was good. One of the yearly events was a little Christmas get-together at Gem City. Now, Gem City ain’t no ‘city’ at all. Matter of fact, all that Gem City consisted of was one house….and a little one room church house that had no regular services. Our nearest neighbors lived in that house. Homer and Georgia Thomas, an elderly….and very sweet couple, lived there. Every Christmas, a few days before, a lot of the ranch families would meet at the little church, sing a few Christmas carols, hear a little Christmas story preachin; and have a little something for the kids. There might be 40-50 people there and it was always a pleasant time.

Well, one year, and long before I’d started going to church, we went to the little program at Gem City. The carols had been sung, the preachin’ about Baby Jesus had happened and it was about time to wind it all up with a prayer when the preacher started lookin’ around the room. Everyone else had their head bowed and eyes closed but me and he made eye contact with me. I immediately thought, “This can’t be good!”. …..and get this!! Out of his mouth he says, “Andy Taylor….would you please lead us in prayer.” I ’bout gagged!! My blood pressure spiked! I broke out in a cold sweat! My whole life flashed in front of me! My hands got ‘clammy’! My mouth went dry! Julie and I looked at each other at exactly the same time….and as scared as I was…..she was scared – er!!! Neither one of us had any idea what I might say!

I have no idea what I prayed that night; maybe something like, “Lord, four-score and seven years ago” or “I pledge allegiance, Lord”  ….Who knows what I might’ve said? I somehow made it through some kind of prayer….and without cussin too’!

We got in the car and let out a huge sigh of relief. We had a good laugh (I bet the Lord even laughed on that one!)….but I was secretly planning what I could be doing next year on that night instead of going to the Christmas program in Gem City!

PS- I’ll bet, if you can find those church pews, you can still find mine and Julie’s ‘claw marks’ on ’em!!

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