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Category Archives: Dysfunction

“Uuuh,….. We Don’t Have a Program”

When we started Trinity Fellowship nearly 28 years ago the Lord was faithful to show us what He wanted us to help Him build….and how He wanted us to build “it”. We had no preconceived idea(s) as to what it should be or how it should look. So, we were dependent on what we believed He was saying to us. That only makes sense when you understand that our lives are to be lived by faith. One of the things, early on, that seemed to be clear is that we would be an organism (not organization) that the Father would use to set people free. That freedom would include everything from freedom from sin, addiction and faulty thinking to freedom from lifeless religious bondage as well.

Looking back through the years it seems clear that the Lord has definitely kept His part of the promise, as He always does. One of the things that’s been extremely rewarding has been the steady stream of people who have come to Sayre to find that ‘freedom’. We’ve built some amazing friendships with folks from all over that we would have otherwise never had the privilege of knowing.

One particular case in point happened not too long ago when a person we didn’t know called about a friend who had experienced a moral failure in his ministry . We didn’t know the person who called but we had been referred to him by someone we both knew.

When he called he was understandably full of questions such as, “What do y’all do?”, and “What’s the Cost?”, and “How do you do what you do?”. I tried my best to answer all those questions and finally he asked, “Well, what kind of program do you have, anyway?” My reply must have taken him completely off guard; “Uuuh, …..we don’t have a program.” It’s really true there’s not a program per se here…but what we do produces long term results.   We’re not batting a thousand but we’re doing pretty good. Here’s some reasons why;

  • We first bring them into our ‘circle’. It’s not an inner circle because inner circles are, by nature, exclusive. We’re inclusive!
  • We let them be a part of whatever it is that we’re doing at the time. If we’re on a ministry project they come along and they might even help if they’re willing. We never apply pressure on them to do that but the door’s always open for them to participate. If we’re going to lunch, they go. If we’re going to a basketball game, they go too. We let them know that they’re an important part of our family.
  • We let them see the ‘real’ side of us. We refuse to put up the facade of perfection. Truth is, we’re far from it. Besides, it’s just not our style!
  • We’re learners…..and we help to develop that trait in them, by seeing us do it, while they’re here.
  • We spend quality time with them. We swap stories. We listen to their story. They listen to ours’. It’s a great way to build long-term relationships. And, that’s what we’re all about.
  • We help them to understand the Father’s love for them. We encourage them to connect relationally with the Father and we explain how easy that is.
  • We treat ’em like VIP’s…….’cause they are!
  • But more important than all the other stuff….we just love ’em. It never fails, you know! It’s undefeated! And, it always works!
  • The Lord always does His part…..which is just about everything!

But, program, uuuuh …..we don’t have a program.

Audio Version:

Interested in a little ‘binge’ reading?? Try these:

Do You Have Enough Faith??

The People That Nobody Else Wants

Simplicity! It’s All I Have to Offer

It’s Not Your Job to Fix Them!

A Place Where People Get Well

 

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“Hug-A-Thug”

Over a year ago I got involved with the Beckham County Drug Court. I guess you could say I’m an unofficial member of the DC team. Drug Court is a pretty amazing thing if you ask me. (Click here FMI) I have developed some great friendships with a lot of the participants that are in the program. It’s one of the highlights of everything I do these days to see these folks overcome their addictions and become productive members of society. I can’t speak for all the Drug Court programs in Oklahoma but I can definitely vouch for ours’! The success rate for these men and women to ‘get well’ is pretty darn good. I believe that can be attributed to the entire Drug Court Team, which includes the Sheriff, DA, County Judge…as well as others. But what seems to be the shining star of the whole program is the support that the DC participants give to one another. It’s pretty amazing. Very often all it takes is just someone who’ll love you and believe in you. More often than not….that makes the difference.

The Drug Court program is not without it’s criticizers, though. There are plenty of people who don’t much care about it’s success. Seems a little bit crazy to me. There are those out there who’d rather see these people go straight to prison and I guess I can kinda see where they’re coming from. But, I’d always like to see someone get another chance. And if they blow it in Drug Court….prison it is!

Some of the detractors like to mockingly refer to Drug Court as the Hug-a-thug program. I cringe a little bit if I hear that but you know what they say, “haters gonna hate”! I was thinking about their little moniker (hug-a-thug) a few days ago and I came to a conclusion or two. What if a hug for these people really did make a difference?! What if, maybe for the first time in their life, they could actually believe that someone cared?

I don’t have to sit long in DC to realize how good I’ve had it. I’ve never had to wonder if my Mom & Dad loved me. I didn’t have to grow up with them being the ones who introduced me to, and gave me drugs. I never was kicked around from family to family because no one really wanted me. So, yeah….I’ve had it good. Doesn’t take too long for me to start having a heart to see these folks do good. I’m a fan! …..and if I can help… I will!

Back to that hugging thing; I come from a long line of huggers. It’s something we’ve always done in our household. Probably came from my Mom’s side of the family. You see them….they’re gonna give you a hug…like it or not. I guess it’s contagious. But there really is something about a hug, something profound, something real and something, I think, that could really be important! There’s even scientific evidence that hugs are healthy for us….both physically and emotionally!

Here’s some scientific evidence of what a hug can do: *(thank you David Clark!)

A. Activates antitoxin hormone that can fill us with joy
B. Allows for more patience
C. Remedy against stress and anxiety
D. Strengthens self-esteem especially in children.
E. Releases the dopamine hormone responsible for good motivation
F. Helps alleviate pain or a bad moment
G. Communicates emotions without saying a single word
H. Helps preserve immune system
I. Helps balance central nervous system
J. Is an example of love, affection and unity

So there’s the evidence!

What’re we waitin’ for…….”Let’s hug some people!!”

You’ll want to read these too:

It Feels Good To Be “Believed In”!!

Drug Court

Prison Prayer Project

Party at the Prison!

VIP #7 – Rick Hudson

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Fail Forward

It doesn’t matter what you’re doing in life, missing the mark is always a possibility. In fact it’s inevitable that we’re going to fail at something. Whether it’s not making the 5th grade basketball team or coming up short for class president. Most of us experienced the heartbreak of not doing quite good enough early on in life. You know, if it’d just stop there it wouldn’t be too bad. We could surely overcome that class president thing and move on wih life. But, challengingly enough, it doesn’t stop there.

Every single thing we do in life the possibility of failure is staring us square in the face. It can be distracting and downright intimidating. Get yourself two or three of those heartbreaks in a row, which is not hard, and it makes for a really tough patch of life. It would be easy for anyone to get stuck in that same old pattern and let it set the course of their entire life. It’s happened all too many times.

But it doesn’t have to happen that way. Actually, failure has some profound potential if we just don’t allow it get the best of us. Failures provide some amazing learning opportunities and they can give us some incredible perspective if we’ll just let it.

Peter was one of those guys that failed. He didn’t just fail a little….he failed BIG! At the time Jesus needed him most he folded like a cheap lawn chair. Three times he denied that he even knew Jesus, once to a little 12 year old girl. You may have had some major blunders in your life but I’m bettin’ you haven’t had one that big. It would have been easy for that failure to define the rest of Peter’s life. But he had an encounter with Jesus after the resurrection and something miraculous happened; something so miraculous, in fact, that for the next 25 years he was the most important man of the planet as it related to the paln of God! That should be a source of great encouragement to people like us.

Failure is a strong word; and, just because you failed at something doesn’t mean you’re a failure! We shouldn’t allow our failures to define us. We should use them as a stepping stone to greatness. Learn your lesson, get back up and get going again, use your bad experience to help someone else. 

You’re gonna miss the mark; you’re gonna fall short, you’re gonna fail occasionally. But when you fail, …….fail forward! Failure is not final…..unless you let it be!

Oh, and don’t forget what really made the difference for Peter! That encounter with Jesus is the ‘clincher’!

It’ll work for you, too!

Here’s a couple more you might like:

Critics……..There’s One On Every Corner

“Nothing I Can Do About it Now”

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Maybe You Oughta Think That One Through!

I just saw a picture post and quote on FaceBook that was supposedly from a Lieutenant Governor of a, let’s just say, far western state. Now, I didn’t ‘fact-check’ it so it might not have even happened. ‘Cause you know, as old Abe Lincoln said, “You can’t believe everything your read on FaceBook”! And….that is the truth! The quote attributed to him read, “I’d rather be a sitting duck at a mass shooting than have a gun to protect myself.” It does seem kinda ludicrous if it’s true….but who knows?

I’m not trying to make the call whether he said it or not. That’s not at all what this is about. But, I did have a funny thought run through my mind when I read it. If he did…or if someone might say something like that…my first thought is, “Uuuuh, I’m not sure you thought that one through!” It really got me to thinking. There’s so many times that people do things and say things without thinking it through. Man, …..how many times have I done that myself?! We’re often prone to act on the spur of the moment and make decisions totally out of our emotions rather than from logic, reason and common sense. Sometimes those, in the heat of the moment, decisions don’t turn out so well. 

And, really, most of the time it amounts to just thinking your way through the situation. How do you do that? Well, for starters it would help to think of the possible consequences of our actions. How is this going to affect the people I say it to? Will I end up needing to apologize? How am I going to feel if I deeply offend someone. That’s a good start.

James gives some great advice in his New Testament letter, “Be swift to hear, slow to speak…and slow to wrath”. If we’d just try to think our way through some of these situations we might choose a totally different plan of action….and maybe we wouldn’t have near as big a mess to clean up.

Check these out and “Share” ’em if you like ’em!

He Won’t ‘Put More On Ya’ Than You Can Stand

Redirecting!

Talk About a ‘Fixer-Upper’!

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Dysfunction Junction

Do you remember Schoolhouse Rock? It was part of ABC’s Saturday morning children’s programming starting back in ’73. It ran non-stop through 1985 and then was revived in 1993 again with new, and old, episodes until 1999. I remember it being on the tube when our kids were little even though I didn’t pay a whole lot of attention to it. But I think it was a pretty good educational program for little kids. It originated when David McCall, a successful ad agency exec, noticed that his son was having trouble in school. He also noticed that his son could easily remember the words to the current rock songs of that era.  So, he enlisted a few songwriters and started to put multiplication tables to song. Turned out, it was a great way for kids to learn everything from math to English.

One of the songs that I remember hearing on those Saturday mornings was “Conjunction Junction”. Catchy little tune teaching kids what a conjunction is. It’s funny how the tune has stuck with me all these years. I might have trouble explaining what a conjunction is to you…but I do remember some of the words to the song.

For some unknown reason that melody came up in my mind a few weeks back. But, instead of ‘conjunction’, I inserted the word ‘dysfunction’. It’s a word that is dear to me since I operate in a fairly high level of it! LOL. I’ve noticed in my short little tenure of ministry that there’s a lot of dysfunction out there, not counting mine. Some of that dysfunction runs pretty deep and some of it’s just surface level. But it’s there in most all of us. And, it’s just another one of those things that the Lord wants to fix in us.

When we get in some of these stressful tight spots in life our dysfunction is exposed. That’s what I’m gonna start calling the “Dysfunction Junction”. And right there at that point, If we’ll just learn to be sensitive to His Spirit we can begin to overcome that dysfunction that’s had us hamstrung for years! Our lives will be much better….and we won’t be passing that dysfunction on to the next generation!

 I’m glad it ain’t un-fixable! And, I’m grateful that the Lord is patient with us….in all our dysfunction.

You oughta read these, too!

Quit Telling Me What the Problem Is!!

I’m Just the Messenger

“It’s Not Your Job to Fix Them!”

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