I know exactly which of the two it is….but, seriously, there are times that I wonder. As a kid there were a couple of my classmates that were killed in accidents, another one or two that died from vicious diseases. Joe Wingo, a ranch kid, was flying his kite when it got tangled up in some electric wires. He climbed up on a tank with a metal rod to try to untangle it when he was electrocuted. Joe Glenn Crane, just about the sweetest kid you’ve ever seen, was healthy as could be in the first grade….but by the third grade he’d contracted Muscular Dystrophy and was confined to a wheelchair. Both died before they were in junior high.
I was broken hearted both times; didn’t understand. Their funeral services were devastating for me. So, early on in my life, I subconsciously developed an attitude that would cause me to avoid funerals at any cost, no matter whose they were. It worked for me for a long time, or at least I thought so. It wasn’t long after I began doing ministry that I was asked to do my first funeral. I immediately thought, “No Way”! But the deceased person was the Granddad of a close personal friend so I felt like I couldn’t say no. I was serious in prayer with the Lord because I knew that I couldn’t do it without His help. I made it through the service just fine but didn’t really care if I ever did another one or not.
Well that was about 28 years ago and since that very first funeral I’ve done in the neighborhood of 360 more. Here’s my struggle; I can’t separate myself from the feelings that the family members of the deceased have. You’d think that after that many funeral services it’d get to be pretty routine. Not so for me. In fact it might be a funeral for someone that I don’t even know. I’ll get emotional just about every single time. When little grandkids come by the casket after the service is over and they’re breaking down with tears…..it’s about all I can do to contain myself. In some strange way it’s as if I’m feeling exactly what they feel. In fact about ten ears ago I did a service for a daddy and his little boy whose vehicle was t-boned by semi truck. It was hard and I remember driving from the church to the cemetery (about 15 miles) and telling the Lord, “I don’t want to do this anymore”. It was if the Lord spoke immediately my spirit, “Andy, you don’t have to do it anymore….but if you do I’ll give you a greater anointing to do it.” Well, here I am today…..still doin’ ’em!
I think Jesus was like this. It appears that He so identified with the feelings and the emotional state of people that he literally felt what they were feeling. There hasn’t been a funeral yet that has felt ‘routine’. Every single one is somebody’s grandmother, somebody’s dad, or somebody’s little girl. My next one….a little 16 year old boy, only child, a good kid that suffocated in a grain trailer. I’m already feeling what the family is feeling. I think I’ll be able to comfort and console them because of it.
It’s not a curse…..I know it’s a blessing. It just doesn’t feel like it a lot of the time!
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Andy you are blessed with the ability to empathize with a person, and actually feel the pain that they are experiencing. It is definitely a gift and not one that every body experiences. I believe it is the manifestation of the anointing that God has placed on you to carry out such an awesome ministry to people at a time when their pain is the greatest! You are in my prayers!
Andy you are blessed with the ability to empathize with people and actually feel the pain that they are experiencing. I believe it is a manifestation of the anointing that God has placed on you to fulfill such an awesome ministry! I will be praying for you!
Thank you Peggy!
Amen, Thank You for being such a blessing to so many
Andy i totally get what your saying . I too feel the pain,loss ,emptyness ,but then peace comes in the morning. I thank the Father for the peace and understanding He sends . then I ask Him to pla e it on the families. God bless you! Love you
Thank you Charla! Love you too!
I watched/listened to your dads services….. and you were amazingly strong and said just the right thing for family, and friends to be comforted…. The ministry is definitely your calling and you are a blessing!! 😉
Thank you Sandra! That really means a lot!
Andy, I have had the exact same reaction to funerals that You have had over the years. I believe it is because I was so vulnerable when I lost My Dad at 14 and that terrible memory is so etched into My brain. Each funeral takes Me back to that moment, especially when I see the emotions of the Family members who are caught up in that same grief. I go out of respect, but suffer along with the Families and Friends who are now going through that same terrible feeling of loss that I will never get over. They say ” what doesn’t kill Us will make Us stronger”, but I feel weak every time I participate. Wouldn’t wish it on anybody, but nice to know I am not alone.
Was just thinking about you last week in regards to this subject. You came to Dad’s service, Casey’s dad….and I expect quite a few more that I don’t know about. That tells me a lot about a person!! I treasure your friendship! ….a lot!
Andy I am forever grateful for you doing the service for Chris and Trenten . God blessed so many that day. I know you felt our pain,but I just needed to say THANK YOU and that will never be enough. You know what I remember riding from the service to the cemetery that day, a double rainbow which caused me to remember not only that promise from God but a double portion of God’s blessings that day and a hope and assurance of their destination. Trenten loved rainbows and it was so perfect for that final ride. May God continue to bless you and even give you double portions of His anointing . I love you and your family so much.
Thank you so much Linda! That means a whole lot to me! Love you guys too!
You do a great job. Your thought and consideration and you still having those feelings are why you do a great job and why people want you there.
Thank you Kelly!!